The transformation in question

When you are growing as a person its never that black and white. I'd love to say I'm a glass half full kind of girl, but when It comes to myself I've always been very self critical so saying I've changed for the better or the worst Is something I can't do. I can only review the differences I have found within myself. Being on a hair and make-up course the changes I've made range from acquiring skills and characteristics but also materialistic changes too. I went from a bleach blonde girl with a large hooped nose piercing, who refused to even attempt wearing a matching outfit to someone who now actually owns black clothing. The phrase 'all black everything' had never been worshiped by me the same way it did others. To put it bluntly I looked as if I had walked into a cupboard with only rainbow clouded patterns wiggled around a bit and walked out the house with whatever fell on most comfortably. This look was usually accompanied with bed head and bright red lipstick. Now I'm not saying I don't still love a pair of bright pink hareem's but that my opinion of appearance has changed. Without even realising it myself the course was shaping my idea of what it is to be professional on the outside, as well as the skills you needed to get there. I now have natural brown hair and have removed my gigantic nose piercing and am attempting to tame the mitchmatch wardrobe I own into some kind of theme.

My appearance was only the tip of the ice burg when analysing myself and how I may have changed whilst on the course so far. My grades reflect my change throughout the year. In the beginning I am disappointed with myself at how poorly I did and now looking back I know I could have pushed myself so much harder. But whats funny (well to me at least) was how hard I thought I was working at the time. The first three units I got my grades back on were scraping passes, something I was satisfied with at the time. My second three units I got back were 2:2's and 2:1's... so theres a drastic difference. This shows where I realised how much I wanted this how much I strived to better myself and stop settling for O.K. Truthfully before I got all these grades back I thought I would have to re-take a modual if not the whole year again. I was disappointed in myself as I already stared reflecting back on how much more I could have pushed myself. This isn't a position I want to be in again. Being unsure of a position in the future you want to lead is unpleasant to say the least.

A bit about me...

So last year I embarked on a new adventure. University. The year previous to this I was stubborn (well I guess that part hasn't changed) and thought that I didn't need a university qualification to get where I wanted and squandered a year of my life on hopeless tasks wasting my time. By the time the year was rounding off I realised I wasn't as driven as I believed and needed more training. And thats where my 'uni experience' really began. I know its cringe worthy, but coming to southampton really did help me wake up again and enjoy education the way I once had many years ago when I first studied art. So now that I am going to start a new adventure; my second year it is time to really reflect on my first year. how it has shaped me as a person, how I felt I did at the time vs how I think I did in retrospect and the outlook it has given me to move forward into second year.